Unstoppable Fragrance - a Poem by Malia Arrayah

Photo by jcourtneyphotos (IG)
UNSTOPPABLE FRAGRANCE
(a poem from "I bit the Apple" to be released in April 2022
I spray on a very particular perfume each morning
I stare into the mirror, and I forget the negative words she wants to shout at me
The demon inside my mind
She found me in my youth
When I was weak and confused
She snuck up on me when I was consumed in the realities of inequality
When I watched my limbs tell the world
I deserved to have my space invaded
This demon inside my mind
She never left
She made a home in there
A throne of disempowerment and bitterness
Every time a trigger occurs
When I feel alone
When the job I applied for rejects me
This demon uses a loudspeaker inside
To shout at me
“YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH”
So,
I spray on this unstoppable fragrance
I mist it over my head
And I dance to music
Imagining all my happy memories
With gratitude
And the demon inside
hates the gratitude I feel
To say back to her “at least I tried to fail”
And I take a positive approach
Telling her that though she may be the demon inside me
I am still a GOD to my own life
And I wear a scent of power
I am an heir to beauty, to life, to luxury
I am the GOD of my body, my mind, and my spirit
And I exist far greater than any horrible sentence that tries to stop me
I wear this unstoppable fragrance
To remind myself
I am deserving of the best
And I am worthy of my dreams